It wasn't until the second time he mentioned boobs and danish sausage, that I realized what a terrible mess I had gotten myself into you.
Well, not even just me, but my poor innocent sister too!
It was the kind of group "date thing" or whatever, that made you question if the free dinner was even worth it.
But how was I supposed to the know that the guy I had inadvertently set my sister up with, was a total freakshow?!
They should really wear a sign.
John Doe
-Capricorn
-Lousy Jokes
-Fake Tooth
-Possible Drinking Problem
Let me tell you, it's tough out there.
They shouldn't even call it dating, because really all it is, is finding out WHY the other person is single and evaluating whether or not you want to deal with that crap.
The worst part about the "date from hell?"...I knew it was going to be terrible, as soon as he opened his mouth.
But what can you do?
You can't just leave.
It's kind of like when those people on the street hand you flyers about coupons or new smoothie places or whatever. After that, you're walking around thinking, "Alright, now how long do I have to hold on to this?"
I mean...he couldn't have thought it was a good date. Right?! There's no way he could've thought it went well. Especially when he saw the look of horror on our faces when he kept making jokes about all the porn on his phone.
Why?
WHY?!
Or telling us that he drinks at least four sodas a day...because that's a really attractive quality in a person.
But I'm sure he's a really nice guy.
"They shouldn't even call it dating, because really all it is, is finding out WHY the other person is single and evaluating whether or not you want to deal with that crap."
ReplyDeleteTruth.
One time, I saw a book at Barnes and Noble..."Dating Makes You Want to Die."
Amen, sista. Truer words have never been spoken.
This was a fun read! I'm sorry you had a crappy date, but you definitely turned it into something enjoyable for the rest of us to read :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting us laugh at your misery! I went on a blind date once.
ReplyDeleteNever. Again.
You owe your sister. Big time. Perhaps four sodas.
ReplyDelete"Especially when he saw the look of horror on our faces when he kept making jokes about all the porn on his phone"
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! Wow...
yikes.
ReplyDelete"They shouldn't even call it dating, because really all it is, is finding out WHY the other person is single and evaluating whether or not you want to deal with that crap"
ReplyDeleteSo true! Although when you go on a good date, a really good date, with that person whose eyes you can't stop looking into, and whose every word you are hanging on... it makes all the bad ones totally worth it!
That sounds hilarious! Where on earth did you find that guy?
ReplyDeleteBahahahaha! Great opening line :) He sounds like a golden drop of sunshine.
ReplyDeleteWhoah sounds rough!
ReplyDeleteYour newest follower Ashton from:
sexdrugsmarriage.blogspot.com
Now that's just...WOW.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure there's a show for this... "Disaster Dates", is it? Something like that, I'm sure...