I forgot to put deodorant on today.
I guess that should've been an indicator as to what type of day it'd be...
It wasn't horrible.
It was just the kind where you forget to put on deodorant and that's all you can think about...
And the kind where people never respond to your emails.
Or just send ones riddled with sass and implied eye-rolls.
And where people bug you and it's all you can do to not poke them in the eyes and say, "boop!"
So now I'm laying in bed, reminiscing on my day and contemplating the complexities that make up "Extreme Couponing."
Don't EVEN act like you haven't watched it and aren't totally mesmerized...
But let's just be honest...EVERY episode is EXACTLY the same.
Allow me to paint you a picture...
We have a homely looking woman, who has overcome some obstacle (divorce, bankruptcy, bad perm, etc.) that led her to the "light" that is EXTREME couponing.
She'll undoubtedly show off her "stock" or "stash" or "hoard" or whatever she calls it, which is basically comprised of 10,000 sports drinks, 1,000,000 bottles of hot sauce, a gazillion tubs of hand soap and so on and so forth.
Basically, it's a bunch of crap her family doesn't need, but she's all set on saving, that she forces her family to eat Tina's frozen burritos everyday for 3 years in order to save 47 cents.
Anyway, now the REAL show begins.
This woman and some of her crazy friends or misled children (and maybe husband) will conceive a plan for the ULTIMATE coupon shopping spree.
They will make charts, graphs and matching t-shirts, in order to maximize their shopping experience.
She probably has some type of "book" that holds all of her precious coupons. (Buy two tubs of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, get one free!)
So they go on their shopping trip, which usually lasts some inordinate amount of time and they probably had to enlist the help of employees in order to push around their 6 carts full of useless crap.
Checkout is when the REAL drama begins though.
Sometimes they need to have several transactions in order to save the most pennies on their granola bars and fruit snacks...this not only pisses the checkers off, but the registers as well.
Somehow something breaks and the checkers HAVE to enter everything MANUALLY!
The coupon freaks are always biting their nails as they watch to see if their plan worked or not, because they bought $1600 worth of crappy groceries, but only have $10 in their pocket.
It always works out in the end, where they save 99.9%!
Sometimes they give the groceries to charities...but most of the time, they just stash it away to rot/expire/go bad/collect dust.
And THAT is the world we live in.
Maybe if I had done some extreme couponing magic to buy 25 sticks of deodorant for 53 cents, I wouldn't have forgotten to put it on this morning and perhaps, my day would've been a little better.
But probably not.
And let's be honest...there's something not right with those people.